4 Steps to Self Therapy for Anxiety & Depression

How to do self therapy?

Lack of meaning in life is indeed a significant challenge that can lead people into depression, and in extreme cases, even suicide. It's crucial to recognize that this is not an overnight occurrence. 

For example, when someone fails an exam, it may trigger thoughts of being unintelligent and unworthy, which can contribute to a downward spiral. We are taught that intelligence and worthiness are determined solely by exam scores in today’s society. 

Many highly intelligent individuals struggle with coping mechanisms and may not have been taught how to navigate failure or setbacks in schools and colleges.

It's concerning to see that the United States is one of the leading producers of depressed individuals globally, second only to Ukraine. The statistics show that approximately 29% of people in the US have experienced depression at least once in their lifetime. 

This means that there is a high likelihood that when you are in a gathering like a mall, one out of every three individuals in that gathering may be struggling with depression.

This also means that those individuals have likely been grappling with self-doubt for a considerable period, and they may just need a trigger to push them towards thoughts of self-harm. It could be a single failure in an exam, a divorce, a job loss, or the death of a loved one. 

When expectations and reality are significantly misaligned, a deep-rooted conflict can arise within us. We start telling ourselves repeatedly that we are not good enough, leading to a diminishing sense of self-worth.

To address these challenges, in my Yoga sessions I teach the 4A method- this method can be invaluable screening tool even before you visit your psychologist.  Not to mention that today it takes minimum 1 month to get an appointment with the psychiatrist or psychologist of your choice.

Steps to 4A's: Awareness, Assess Option, Acceptance and Action

Awareness

Swadhyaya (self-study, we will be addressing swadhyaya in much more detail in later chapters in the book). This emphasizes the importance of studying ourselves, understanding our likes, dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses.

In our busy lives, we often overlook self-reflection and fail to recognize our true abilities. Instead, we tend to follow the crowd, pursuing careers or activities that may not align with our strengths. However, yoga encourages us to focus on our strengths and not dwell on our weaknesses. For example, if swimming is not your forte, there's no need to keep telling yourself that you're not good at it just because your friends excel in it.

Assess options

Instead of fixating on your weaknesses, consider what actions you can take to improve your swimming skills. Taking a class or joining a program that teaches swimming might be a viable option. However, if you have tried various methods and still struggle to make progress, it's essential to reassess and explore alternative options.

Acceptance

Learning to accept that swimming may not be for you is a crucial step. Despite investing time and effort, it's important to acknowledge that swimming might not be the sport best suited for you. By accepting this reality, you free yourself from self-imposed expectations and allow yourself to move forward.

Action

Once you have accepted that swimming is not your ideal sport, it's time to take action and explore other activities that align better with your strengths and interests. By studying yourself, assessing options, and accepting your limitations, you can now venture into sports like badminton or tennis, where you can thrive and enjoy the process of growth.

Example of 4A’s Method Application for Self Therapy

Now let’s apply the 4A method for a troubled marriage or a couple facing issues in their marriage contemplating a divorce. Spend an equal amount of time and effort in each of these 4 areas and start practicing in the same hierarchy moving from awareness to action.

Awareness- Self-study - Before jumping to conclusions about a troubled marriage, it's crucial to engage in self-reflection. Bring awareness to your marriage and ask yourself what is wrong, what is missing, and what is making you unhappy.

Take the time to understand your own feelings and perspectives.

Assess options - Once you have identified the issues in your marriage, it's important to explore potential solutions. Consider what actions you can take to improve the situation and what expectations you have from your spouse.

Seeking counseling or openly communicating with your partner about your concerns can be valuable steps to take.

Acceptance - In this step, it's essential to come to terms with the reality of your spouse's current capabilities.

For example, if your spouse's busy career prevents them from being home often, accepting that they are willing to spend weekends with you can be a positive resolution. Acknowledge what is within their capacity at the moment.

Action - After going through the previous steps consciously and putting effort into understanding, assessing, and accepting, it's time to act. Implement the changes or compromises that both you and your spouse have agreed upon and see where they lead.

With consistent effort and open communication, many couples can find solutions to their problems without resorting to depression or thoughts of ending the relationship.

To know more read my book about the 21 steps to reprogram your mind or book a private counseling session with me.